To be a dog

“Humans alone have the possibility of limitless advancement…They’re all tenacious little insects, really; like a bunch of cockroaches. It would do you some good to have a little drive and ambition. Maybe then you would be more of a man than you are a dog.”

I was wasting my time reading various things (which you can easily use Google to find, no doubt), and I came across this line. Told to a NEET, the speaker was, to my understanding, commenting on the vastness of human potential, yet declaring how spineless the NEET was for simply living to survive, as a dog would, than living to achieve, as a human would, in her opinion.

I am not entirely certain, but I believe the feelings this invokes in me mean that I take offense to this. Granted, I know the 'right' answer is to say that she is correct. I understand that it is...deplorable, to say the least, to wake up every day in a dull haze with no real ambition toward the morrow save for getting enough money to afford food and housing. I can see her reasoning; after all, humans have come so far, creating forests of steel, and becoming the top predator of the food chain, despite having no claws, no scales, no poisons, no defenses, and no offenses to really speak of. It is truly only through sheer ambition and drive that humans have been able to go from dull beasts living in caves to creatures who can transport their voice to the other side of the planet in seconds, and their bodies in but a few days. Hell, we have poisoned and conquered the very planet that we were birthed from. It is only natural (definition being, in accordance to our nature) to continue the legacy of desire and achievements.

Yet, despite this, I cannot help but believe that living the, albeit dull, life of a 'dog' would not be too bad. No need to worry about lofty goals or overarching desires, having the freedom to lounge about, to dream about physically impossible realities, to analyze your own thoughts, desires, instincts, and definitions. It would not 'achieve' anything; any mark left by such a person will not affect a large number of people. Indeed, I highly doubt the number would be higher than 30, much less hundreds or thousands.

And if that becomes boring, if you'll allow such a question? Well, the only thing I can think of, personally, is to find a lover and live for her, odd or unrealistic the suggestion may be. Indeed, when it comes to ambition to live 'as a human', I must admit to having none. Even now, I work only as hard as is required so that I may hope to get a piece of paper allowing me to work a job, which I will work only as hard as is required, so that I may get enough money to afford food, water, and housing, as well as a few luxuries to distract my mind from boredom.

Is it so wrong to have the desire to be a dog? It is ironic because just earlier today, before I came across this particular reading, I was reading a CYOA where the main character did essentially become the pet of a woman. I enjoyed it, even if it was a bit too centered on sex. and truly wouldn't mind such an easy-going and pampered life, provided it wasn't so centered on sex.

Such an introverted life would have no real ambitions, lofty or otherwise, and, indeed, I show my own escapism from life by stating I would rather live for another than my own self. Not that I say it as an excuse; truly, the thought of waking up, preparing breakfast, and seeing someone I honestly care for off as they work toward their goals does make me feel a sort of schoolgirl happiness. Kyaa~ Kyaa~ and all that rot. Even if not as a housewife, but as a toy, living for another, it would instill in me the express desire to please and to make the other's life as easy or enjoyable as possible. Such a servile person I am...

Still, to put it on a balance, such a person with such desires of hearth-tending are...unneeded. If, for example, a relationship consisted between two persons, both of whom were Human Ambitious, they would get along fine, all other things equal, and possibly support each other's ambitious attitudes and goals with a sort of competitive spirit. On the other hand, if a relationship consisted between two persons, the first of whom were Human Ambitious and the second Dog Ambitious, shall we say, they, too, would get along fine, with the former reaching toward her goals and the latter working to ensure the former has all she needs to achieve those goals. Therefore, in terms of efficiency, the Dog Ambitious is unneeded, as the relationship between two Human Ambitious persons would work just as well, giving the world, and entire human populace, two ambitious persons to advance the race. The latter couple would result in only one ambitious person.

All that said, I believe the main thing that is bothering me is simply that, by this little quip from her alone, I can tell that, were I facing her in the stead of the NEET, she would be utterly disgusted with me, as though I were a flea-ridden dog. That imagined look of complete disdain, that another person would feel that way about me, that is what bothers me the most, I believe. It doesn't feel good to be regarded like that. And it hurts worse that it's for a desire that I, honestly, feel I cannot help but feel. Like a feminazi, assuming the basis of her hate wasn't entirely idiotic, hating you because you're male. You can't help that.

It follows, then, that the reason I am having issues is that I am assuming the basis of her hate isn't entirely idiotic, to use the same phrase, or, rather, because I, truly, cannot find flaw with her reasoning. It is entirely correct, as far as I can see, that for a Human to live as a Dog would, living day to day solely on instinctive survival desires is a waste of life, of ambition, of potential. Yes, it is fully within my right to waste it, but that does not change the fact that I am committing a crime upon my very blood and being to waste it. It's dishonorable. It's ignoble. It is contemptible.

And it is because I desire it still that I feel affronted by her words.



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